“Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it,” as said by Viktor E. Frankl.
With COVID-19 still in our rearview mirror and the spotlight on stress and mental health issues, it feels timely to share a learning that has profoundly influenced my life. This lesson has helped me navigate ups and downs and has been a cornerstone in counseling others: All emotions need to be accepted, and surrendering the need to control everything is key to your happiness and success. Remember, 80% of your emotions are shaped by self-awareness, and 20% by how you manage them.
Have you read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl? It’s one of those life-changing books everyone should read. Frankl, a survivor of Nazi concentration camps during World War II, beautifully describes his psycho-therapeutic method - a framework that involves finding purpose in life and maintaining a positive outlook despite immense suffering.
Frankl recounts a profound story in the book. One night, he received a call from a woman who calmly informed him that she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone, listening to her and offering reasons to live. Finally, she promised not to take her life. When they later met, Frankl asked her which reason had persuaded her. Her response was unexpected: none of them. She said it was his willingness to listen to her pain that gave her a reason to live. “A world in which there was someone ready to listen seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live,” Frankl wrote.
This story beautifully illustrates the power of listening. Sometimes, the simplest act of being present and listening without judgment can save lives. When someone opens up to you, resist the urge to debate, negate, or offer solutions. Instead, respect their courage, sit beside them, and say, “Tell me more. I’m here to listen.”
The Power of Letting Go
All the water in the ocean cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside. Similarly, the pressures of life cannot hurt you unless you let them in. Make the conscious choice to let go. If letting go feels overwhelming, share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust—a family member, close friend, or colleague. It’s okay to show vulnerability to those who care about you. Their support can prevent you from spiraling into despair.
Lecturing doesn’t save lives; listening does. Guide others to mental health professionals when necessary. Seeking help from a therapist is no different from visiting a doctor for a physical ailment. There is no shame in taking care of your mind.
Choosing Your Battles
Frankl’s book concludes with a powerful reminder: life always has meaning; you just need to find it. This idea brings to mind a story of a huge elephant walking in the sunshine after a bath. As it neared a bridge, a wild pig covered in mud approached from the opposite direction. The elephant stepped aside to let the pig pass. Later, the pig boasted to its friends about how it had intimidated the elephant. When the elephant’s friends questioned its behavior, the elephant replied, “I could have crushed the pig, but I didn’t want to dirty myself.”
The story's moral is clear: not every battle is worth fighting. Arrogance, negativity, and politics are inevitable, but you have the power to choose your response. Avoid unnecessary conflicts not out of fear, but to preserve your peace. Life is too short to react to every comment, opinion, or situation. Skip the drama, focus on your goals, and choose your battles wisely.
Managing Emotions
Every difficult path teaches lessons. Remember, every problem has a solution—sometimes multiple solutions. Recognize your emotions, understand your reactions, and manage them constructively. Flexibility and mindfulness can turn challenges into opportunities for growth.
Be aware of your emotions and those of people around you. Make time for others. Pick up the phone, sit beside them, hold their hand, or visit them in person. Show them that they are not alone. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference.
A New Year’s Oath
As we gear up for the new year, let’s take a pledge to honor and respect our bodies and minds. Your body is a beautiful gift. Take care of it by practicing yoga, which nurtures your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Let’s commit to being mindful of our emotions, listening to others, and spreading kindness.
If you resonate with this message, share it with those who might need it. Let’s choose our battles wisely, find meaning in our lives, and remember that life is beautiful.
Wishing you a meaningful and joyous year ahead! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Feel free to share your comments below.
Stay Safe. Stay Calm. Be Kind.
Hozzászólások